- Once stripped down to it's underwear in front of the entire 5th grade class.
- Ran away from home at the age of four.
- When it was 7 it used to spin around in a circle desperately trying to turn into Wonder Woman.
- Pretty sure has some form of Dyslexia.
- Has a mostly irrational hatred of Matt Damon and a very rational hatred for the movie Caddyshack.
- Will eat your tater tots, even when it tells you it isn't hungry.
- Once broke a finger bowling.
- At an ice rink while skating to "Hey Nineteen" by Steely Dan wiped out for 15 feet.
- Hates the sound of erasers on a chalkboard.
- Is incensed that "Sweet Home Alabama" is the song used in Kentucky Fried Chicken commercials.
- Has a Mom that fancies the Crypt Keeper from "Tales from the Crypt."
- Rolled 100 joints on the first day of its first job out of college.
- When it was around 3 or 4-years-old it got its penis caught in the zipper of its zip-up, winnie the poo pajamas with the footies. (Yes, that's an awfully dorky outfit, and they were probably pink hand-me-downs, cause it has a big sister.) Being extremely painful, it distinctly remembers weighing its options: Endure the pain or suffer the embarrassment of having to solicit its mom's help. Anyway, it got mom's help, and the penis is 99% effective.
- Secretly wishes it lived somewhere quiet like Iowa or Nebraska. (But not Kansas. Definitely not Kansas.)
- When it gets a fountain soda, has to push the diet and other tabs on the lid, and if it forgets, then just knows it is going to have a shitty day.
- Has not thrown up in public in, what, at least a month.
- Has never been to the Liar's Club.
- Sold every one of its paintings on the opening night of its first art show.
- First stiffy directly related to sexual stimulation came at the hands of an episode of Benny Hill. There were a lot of women running around, jiggling in fast motion, so you really couldn't blame it.
- Wants to be a monchichi or at least have one as a pet.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
20 Things You Should Know About The Liar's Club
Posted by The [Cherry] Ride