Monday, August 20, 2012

Lefko: the Martini Whisperer

Last week I attended a networking event at Bad Dog Tavern in Lincoln Square. I was stoked to be in my old ‘hood and met some cool people. A few new connections I made were recent Chicago transplants. One guy I met had recently stumbled upon what is now his new favorite bar: Blue Stem Martini Lounge.

Our group of five jumped into a cab and headed south to this place. Now I had heard of this bar before, but had never been. Upon arrival, the place was dead. But it was by no means lacking character in the form of Lefko: the bar owner and martini concoct-ress.  We sat down at the bar, and she greeted us in a raspy, smoker, south-side voice. 

Me: Wow, there are so many choices, I don’t know what I want!
Lefko: Ok, honey, what do ya ordah when ya go to da bar?
Me: I’m a beer girl.
Lefko: Ok, I’m gunna make ya something called the Clee-ah. [Makes drink, and pours out a sample in the martini glass] Give it a try, honey.
Me: Wow! That’s delicious!
Lefko: I know, I know...[pours the rest of the martini into the glass]
Me: You’re like, the “Martini Whisperer”!
Lefko: Oh gawd, you-ah too sweet!

And so we drank martinis and played songs on the jukebox for a few hours. I had the bad misfortune of picking one of my favorite childhood songs that has a cowboy singing the N-word (not the reason why it's a childhood favorite, mind you), and that song just happened to come on when the only other patron of the night enters the bar. Did I mention he was black? Poor timing, Urbanist, poor timing.

You can read more about Blue Stem Martini and Lefko in these yelp reviews.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Liars Club Contributor Updates

We have some new authors at The Liars Club: Oates and Urbanist Chic.  The two of them, along with founding member, Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, will start updating you with funny and interesting things and people in their fine city of Chicago very soon.  To be up and running again is exciting news, so we hope that you will come by for some laughs, whether you're a Chicagoan or a person who just enjoys goofy stories told by goofy folks.

It's a shame that the other three founding members are no longer contributors at The Liar's Club, but since I know you're all curious, we will share with you what we do know about those wonderful Liars . . .

Classy and Fancy is Macarena instructor.  She is finding it hard to find patrons, what with it being such an outdated dance and a fairly simple one that doesn't require much instruction, so to supplement her income, she is moonlighting as a Lambada teacher. 

The last word we got from The Cherry Ride, he was following his dream of constructing his dream home out of bricks of Velveeta.  We're told that he spends a lot of time at home because that's where he is happiest, but when he does make trips to pick up necessities, he goes in the panda suit that his grandmother knitted for him.

Five of Niner has been keeping a very low profile for quite a long time, but one member of the Liars staff was quite sure they spotted him working as a roadie (slave) for the band Gwar, wearing a loin cloth and firing the crapapult at Gor Gor.  We hope this is true because he would be quite happy with that dress code, since a loin cloth was what he preferred to wear in his cubicle around our office, despite numerous talks with HR about his "ball slips."

Who knows, with the original Liars still being admins, we may see the day when they hit us with some updates, but we think you'll find the new Liars Club contributors to be equally insane, so don't be a stranger . . .