The Wieners Circle

In Chicago, at 2622 N. Clark Street, you will find The Wieners Circle. They are known as a spot to get some late-night/post-bar, Chicago-style dogs, but they are also known for the verbally abusive staff. Now, there are other restaurants, like Ed Debevic's, who specialize in some witty, playful surliness, but the African American gals at the Wieners Circle are downright brutal. I read one guy's blog while searching for pictures who said it's not uncommon to hear, "Can I help the next c@#K-sucker in line?" They should offer a promotion, like, "If we don't call you a c@#k-sucker, your dog is on us!"

I have a buddy who knew nothing of the shtick, so you could imagine his surprise when he was greeted at the counter with a, "What you want, little-dick man?" The insults continued to the point where he slammed his hot dog down and stormed out. His reaction was no doubt mostly due to the fact that he didn't know this is how these women act towards everyone, but perhaps he really is a "little-dick-man."

I've heard that it's customary to give it back to these ladies a little bit, like, "Bitch, shut your mouth, and go get me a damn dog before I slap the taste out your mouth!" I am not daring enough to try that, because with my luck I'd say something like that, I'd hear a record scratch, and guys who look like the starting defense for the Chicago Bears would come out from behind the counter and beat me and pour hot grease down my shirt.

If you ever have the pleasure of visiting the Wieners Circle, don't order a chocolate milk shake. That is, unless you WANT to pay an extra ten bucks to see an overweight lady lift up her shirt and shake her bare, floppy, as Frank Zappa would call them, mammalian protuberences, in your face. I've posted a video of a chocolate milk shake, so watch at your own risk, and thank your lucky stars that it was dark out and the window is dirty.

Well, their milk shakes bring all the boys to the yard, so next time you're in Chicago, be sure to get thoroughly schnockered at the bar, and swing by the Wiener Circle for a dog and some abuse of the verbal and titty varieties.

And now . . . The chocolate milk shake: