Traffic Tax In Chicago

Yesterday 14th Ward Alderman Edward Burke proposed that the city investigate a tax for all drivers into downtown Chicago, similar to London's tax (apparently NYC is also considering it).

I'll assume that the reason he's suggesting it is to: raise some money for the CTA (this would be a good thing), get people to consider other means of coming into the city, other than the single car driver coming in from the far reaches of the city and burbs (this too would be a good thing), and perhaps slow air pollution (also a good thing).

This idea is just never going to fly. If we already had a better public transport system -- a system in which it would actually be feasible for most people to come into the city by bus or train -- then maybe putting a tax on those who don't use it would be good and fair.

How about we give tax breaks to those of us who choose to walk, ride a bike, or take a bus into the city already? I'm a much bigger fan of that. But then, I believe an idea like that would never cross the mind of a city official, since about 99% of them drive a car to get anywhere.

The Wieners Circle

In Chicago, at 2622 N. Clark Street, you will find The Wieners Circle. They are known as a spot to get some late-night/post-bar, Chicago-style dogs, but they are also known for the verbally abusive staff. Now, there are other restaurants, like Ed Debevic's, who specialize in some witty, playful surliness, but the African American gals at the Wieners Circle are downright brutal. I read one guy's blog while searching for pictures who said it's not uncommon to hear, "Can I help the next c@#K-sucker in line?" They should offer a promotion, like, "If we don't call you a c@#k-sucker, your dog is on us!"

I have a buddy who knew nothing of the shtick, so you could imagine his surprise when he was greeted at the counter with a, "What you want, little-dick man?" The insults continued to the point where he slammed his hot dog down and stormed out. His reaction was no doubt mostly due to the fact that he didn't know this is how these women act towards everyone, but perhaps he really is a "little-dick-man."

I've heard that it's customary to give it back to these ladies a little bit, like, "Bitch, shut your mouth, and go get me a damn dog before I slap the taste out your mouth!" I am not daring enough to try that, because with my luck I'd say something like that, I'd hear a record scratch, and guys who look like the starting defense for the Chicago Bears would come out from behind the counter and beat me and pour hot grease down my shirt.

If you ever have the pleasure of visiting the Wieners Circle, don't order a chocolate milk shake. That is, unless you WANT to pay an extra ten bucks to see an overweight lady lift up her shirt and shake her bare, floppy, as Frank Zappa would call them, mammalian protuberences, in your face. I've posted a video of a chocolate milk shake, so watch at your own risk, and thank your lucky stars that it was dark out and the window is dirty.

Well, their milk shakes bring all the boys to the yard, so next time you're in Chicago, be sure to get thoroughly schnockered at the bar, and swing by the Wiener Circle for a dog and some abuse of the verbal and titty varieties.

And now . . . The chocolate milk shake:

Chicago Grooves.

Sorry about the lack of posting on the Liar's Club... we all should be beaten. Well, minus me since I am posting here.

Last night I went out to Schuba's to check out three local bands. All three are heavy in the groove and bass sounds... but all three are very rooted in the indie rock scene. Jai-Alai Savant sounds kind of go all over the place... but bring influences of funk, reggae, and electronic dub. They easily get the crowd moving. The Eternals keeps it simple with bass, drums, horn, and vocals... reminds me of an indie-rock Sly & Robbie. Way fun. Kind of nerdy but good (white people can dance to it). And Watchers meld the sounds of the Talking Heads, Radio 4, and Gang of Four... indie rock with heavy funk/groove percussion. The percussion makes the band. Their singer grabs his crotch a little too much... but I am sure he like it.

I highly recommend checking all of them out... way fun.

Brighten Your Day

A friend of mine said that when she was at Asha, a she she salon in the Bucktown neighborhood of Chicago, she came across a service called "anal brightening." She couldn't resist asking someone what in the blazes that service involved, and evidently there are people who like their anuses, or is it ani?, to shimmer bright, white in the moonlight. I'll never be able to take Brighten the Corners by Pavement out of my CD rack without thinking of this operation, and think to myself, "Gosh, I wish my anus where whiter."

Why I Love The Cubs.

The title to this entry is a little misleading since I do not love the Cubs at all. I am not a Chicago Cubs fan one bit. It's the White Sox all the way for me. But I cannot turn away a baseball game no matter who is playing.

My office is four blocks away from Wrigley Field which has it's pluses and minuses. The biggest plus is that often during the baseball season someone calls me up and offers me a free ticket to a Cubs' game. How great is that? It is usually a client or vendor who offer... so my boss is usually ok with it. So this means:

1. I get to go to a baseball game.
2. I don't have to be at work for the afternoon.
3. I get to wear my White Sox hat to Wrigley and get the Cubs' fans all worked up.
4. I get to drink a tasty Old Style beer which is not allowed in our house since it has the Cubs' logo on it. I love Old Style beer.

I don't hate the Cubs... I'm not like that at all - I'm just not a fan. But working right by Wrigley has it's benefits.

I like eating especially when injury & ingesting dish towel water is imminent

In the Lincoln Square area, on the corner of Lincoln and Montrose, there used to be this shady looking Eastern European restaurant (?) with flamingos on the window and awning. There always seemed to be only two people there at a time and I was too scared to enter its doors. Well, I was over there recently, not to get some shady action, mind you, but on my way to get some pub grub with my friend, when we noticed no flamingos and a sign for $3 mojitos on the restaurant’s wall. Sign us up. Too bad, I don’t remember the name of the new place, but what I do remember is the dessert, the cookie monster. I was expecting something like this one on the left (you can sign me up for that oreo thing as a chaser while you're at it):

This is the cookie monster dessert from Chicago’s own Home Run Inn Pizza, which is one of the best pizza places in the stratosphere. Not only do Home Run Inn restaurants have a pizza buffet that includes something that looks like a deep dish pizza, but is actually a pizza whose crust is made out of Italian sausage (you heard me right), they also have the cookie monster. One time I drove 45 minutes just to have this skillet full of goodness.

At unknown Lincoln Square place the menu said, “A warm plate sized chocolate chip cookie topped with vanilla bean ice cream and whipped cream.” What we received was more like, “A burnt cookie that you can’t cut with a knife and when you do it shoots across the table, but you still eat the piece that touched the table because, well, it’s a cookie and no one in their right mind would waste a cookie, and even though it’s a struggle to eat the cookie you still try cutting it again and again until you almost break the plate.” That’s some menu description, huh? I’ll be back there soon with the hope that the culinary skills have gone up a notch and because man, their tater tots were off the chain.

Winter in April.

One of the things I've learned about Chicago is that Winter always comes back the first week of April. The past three years have seen snow flurries and cold-ass temperatures the first week of April. I have been to baseball games the past three years so bundled up that I look ready for a Bears game in January.

This would not be so bad, but every March we always have a string of nice days in the 70's... so going backwards into the 20's is the worst. I love the winter. I love the winter more than most - but by April 1st I am so over winter. These flurries on the way to work this morning just pissed me off.